Mace v.1.3.10

It’s like Jesus and Kevin Federline had a bastard child.

Stolen from Alex’s Site:

The scariest doll ever. Why would anyone want to own a hick doll?

Hooray for the internet.

Hooray for the internet because, after seeing something on TV that made me laugh so hard I cried, I can find it online and watch it over and over.

At first, I thought there was something wrong with me. Then I showed more people and they laughed, too.

See it for yourself here. And then you, too, will find yourself quoting cats.

- Carly’s Easter fete was on a Saturday, fabulous, and only slightly damp this year. We had to make country-themed baskets. Mine was Altantis, so it was full of sea creatures and bath accessories.
Jesse’s was Japan, which meant we got to go to the $1 and more Japanese Product store down the street for the first time. Oh man, this is now my favorite store. It’s like a normal dollar store, except weirder, and a lot of the products have no English on them. It’s adventurestore! I got to try a beverage like the one on the left. Sweet!*

- Jesse ended up with Kurt’s basket, which was the Death Star, and awesome. I ended up with Sarah’s, which was Turkey, and also awesome (see next note). Because I am dumb, I haven’t uploaded any of the photos yet, but check here soon. Kurt put a lot of the pictures together in a totally awesome DVD. However, Jesse pointed out that no one but the people who are on the DVD would find it interesting. But I think Alex beating up Pooh with a Chinese Yo-Yo is interesting to everyone…
- I got my turkey back! I had given Sarah a terra cotta turkey for her bridal shower**. I almost didn’t give it to her, after bonding with it around Target for half an hour. It was filled with caramel kisses, which I’m now trying to foist off on my coworkers, as I would like to be able to stay in my pants.
- The annual viewing of Jesus Christ Superstar reached its highest attendance in history. Jesse was quite pleased. Originally touted as a BYOBrunch, I took the maiden voyage of my waffle maker and produced about a million waffles. Everyone ate some, as well as the bagels Alex brought, and mimosas, cinnamon rolls and donuts from Jeremy and Kristin. I still have a huge bag full in the freezer. Thank goodness they came out ok.
- I managed to get lamb juice on me again. A year ago, mom asked me to take the platter of lamb out to the table. She didn’t warn me that there was meat juice all over the platter. I didn’t hold it perfectly level and started to wonder what that warm feeling on my leg was. Yuk. So this year, I was being a nice sister and holding the platter for Katie while she served herself. Next year I plan on going nowhere near the meat plate at all. In fact, maybe I’ll excuse myself to the restroom when it gets near me. At least lamb juice washes out.
- But not wine! Shortly after the lamb incident, Katie managed to knock over her completely full glass of wine. About 80% just soaked into the tablecloth, but the rest of it went on my skirt and on the floor. It was at this point that I decided that maybe I’d wash my skirt right then and there. I rushed to the garage, snatched off my skirt and started soaking it in the sink before I put it in the wash. Mom came in to help, and I’m pretty sure was trying not to laugh while I stood there in my underwear. She gave me a pair of pants to wear in the meantime. After two washes and no dries, the wine still hadn’t come off my skirt. So, sigh, I think I’m just going to have to dye it. Perhaps burgundy. It’s only appropriate.

* Literally, sweet. It kind of tasted like a watered down Sprite that had lots of extra sugar added.

** I was very proud of that turkey - each person was given a season to base their gift off of, and I had fall. I’m a big fan of a combination of useful and not-so-useful, so I got her: a rake, a bag of leaves to rake, a terra cotta turkey, and some nice candles in the shapes of gourds. Most people were more _______ (insert adjective of choice) and just bought stuff off the registry. But nothing on the registry was themed! Ah well, who cares. I have regained the turkey.

So if anyone doesn’t already know, I have a slight obsession with two reality*-based shows: Project Runway, and America’s Next Top Model.

So I declared a jihad on Tyra Banks when they kicked Mollie Sue off the show. She was my favorite, and I have a big problem with the ‘no personality’ line. She totally seemed like the kind of person who I’d want for a friend. Plus, her photos had an awesome androgyny that I like.

Anyway, this last week Tyra has reclaimed my love by having this picture of Joanie, my new favorite. It’s maybe one of the best photos they’ve ever had on the show, in terms of fun. Thanks, Joanie! Do well!

* I use ‘reality’ loosely here. I don’t find either show really indicative of reality. Then again, I’m not a model or a fashion designer.

Goodness me.

I followed my cousin’s lead and tried the MyHeritage Face Recognition (now with 30% more celebrities you’ve never heard of!). She was shocked to find that evidently she looks like Halle Berry.

I, evidently, look like Chester Bennington from Linkin Park. Sigh.

I guess it’s the glasses and the square jaw, but really, couldn’t I be a LITTLE cooler? And from a band, I don’t know, I LIKED?

Oh crap do I love my iPod.

Jesse and I went to the Apple Store last Friday and picked up his/hers players (his is black, mine is white).

The problem? I’m rather reluctant to take it off. I have little interest in talking to people or doing anything I have to do with out it, like driving (so far).

I foresee this only getting worse as my collection expands. Currently, I have only uploaded halfway through the letter C in my CD collection. Granted, not everything is going in, but I have quite a while to go. Currently, on shuffle, I’m hearing mostly Tori Amos and Bjork.

Oh Bjork! All of her CDs have been living the shelf, collecting dust. I just hadn’t felt like listening to her for the last few years. But the iPod has brought her back front and center. Specifically, I have rediscovered my love of Selmasongs, the EP of songs from* Dancer in the Dark. It may be my favorite album of hers. The songs are beautiful and deep, and tell fantastic stories. I cheated and listened to the songs before I saw the movie, and it in no way spoiled the movie for me.

The other problem with my iPod? My tendency to sing and dance. This is fine if I’m by myself, but I am rarely alone here at work. Here is a list of songs that I consider it impossible NOT to dance to, which are currently on my iPod:
I Miss You - Bjork
107 Steps - Bjork
Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy
Crazy in Love - Beyonce
Dancing Queen - ABBA
Ojos Asi - Shakira
She’s Your Cocaine - Tori Amos
World Cup Fever - Air Miami
Gold Digger - Kanye West (Jesse’s fault, I swear)

* ‘from’ isn’t entirely accurate. The lyrics of the songs in the movie are NOT the same as the musically-identical songs on the CD. Probably because the songs in the movie are more to drive the story? Not sure. Both are fantastic.

Tina’s been doing the Friday Five, courtesy of Livejournal, and I thought I’d start too, just as an exercise to write/post more.

1) When you were little what was your favorite TV show?
I was a huge fan of Scooby-Doo and Wonder Woman*. I also watched a LOT of public television: Newton’s Apple, 321 Contact, and Square 1. It definitely contributed to the nerd I am today.

2) What was your favorite movie?
Annie, without a doubt. Any time I was allowed to pick a movie to rent, that was it. Now that I think about it, I don’t know why they didn’t just buy it for me. I did have the soundtrack on vinyl, though. I listened to it all the time, and especially when my mother made me do housework. In first grade, I got to sing the first verse of ‘Tomorrow’ as a solo for an assembly. That was the last time in 15 years I sang in public. Then Karaoke became popular, and I reached drinking age.

3) What is your favorite TV show currently?
I am totally in love with Project Runway. Usually, I’m not a big fan of reality television. It’s refreshing to see a show with people with actual skills. I like the procedure of things. I’m also a fan of America’s Next Top Model for the same reason. I like seeing a plan, the execution, and the result. ANTM’s a little more catty, though, which turns me off a little.

4) What is the best movie you have seen so far this year?
It’s still early in the year, but I’d have to say V for Vendetta. I actually felt inspired after seeing it. It’s strange: I’ve read some negative reviews of it, and I can totally see where their opinions are coming from. Most feel the movie is heavy handed in its views. However, I get so involved in the characters and story that it’s almost subliminal. I’ve seen it twice in the theaters and it’s moved me to tears both times.

5) If someone was going to make a movie or TV show about your life, who would play you and why?
First of all, that’s going to be a pretty boring movie. But were it to happen, I think I’d like some new, unknown actress to play me. Maybe that could be her big break. Otherwise, the logical choice would be my sister, since I know she can act and she kind of looks like me. Ha.

* Did anyone else pick up on Wonder Woman vs. Nazis? When I was a kid, they were just ‘bad guys.’ Amazing he perception of children. Also, I had Wonder Woman underoos that I wore 24/7. Grrrl power.

I had to mention the old guy.

So we* went hiking at Big Basin on Sunday. Before getting started on our nine-plus mile hike, we stop at the bathroom and get our ducks in a row. I notice, as I walk into the bathroom, that there’s an older gentleman talking to some tourists, and I swear, as the door was closing, I heard him say, "… and I was surprised what good English she spoke." Which was weird, because the tourists looked like American Asian people to me. Perhaps I lacked the sharp eye of the older gentleman.

When I came out of the restroom, he was still standing nearby. I asked my friend to help tighten my laces**. He pulls, but not enough. I tell him to do it harder. Older gentleman takes this opportunity to tell my friend to "tie me up nice and tight." Friend and I look at each other, and try not to laugh too loud. Then he informs me that my boots "aren’t high enough" to protect me "from rattlesnakes." I don’t remember if I responded to him or not, but he continued, segueing from rattlesnakes to big cats***, mentioning that they can be 120-130 pounds, and stand as tall as a man on their back feet. We mutter some thanks to him, and are off on our merry way.

Merry is a pretty loose term. There was a mudslide, and we had to forage our own trail around the peanut-buttery mud, which poor Kristin stepped in. A bridge had washed out, so we had to find our own way across the raging creek. Five miles in I slipped on some mud and my knee felt a little weird. By the end of the hike I was pretty much carrying most of my right side on a stick I found along the way. Every time I think I’m getting closer to my Yosemite goal, I falter.

BTW, rattlesnakes spotted = 0. Big cats = 0. Small cats = 1 in the parking lot.

* Me, Kristin, Jeremy x 2. Jesse wasn’t feeling well, and Kurt fell off the face of earth.
** My boot laces totally rip up my hands! And since I’d already tightened them once, and my hands were cold, when I tried to touch them my hands throbbed. Little did I know how I would later bruise my hands clinging to a stick…
*** He never mentioned what kind of big cats we would encounter. I totally imagined a lion or jaguar. I’m pretty sure those aren’t native to the Santa Cruz mountains.

It’s not really that it took me this long to get my thoughts together; it just took this long to write them down. Why? Because even thinking about PR is boring by now.

I like to think about the designers from Season 1. Even though I was no big fan of Kara Saun the person, she did have an interesting eye. Her final collection, based on The Aviator, wasn’t my style at all (way too much leather), but was eye-friendly, and did show a good amount of ingenuity without saying “40’s glamour,” which may be my least favorite phrase ever. Jay’s collection was FANTASTIC and he totally deserved to win. It was vibrant and new and futuristic, which excites me in fashion. I loved every single thing on that runway, including the headphone things, which I didn’t understand, but were brilliant. I look at these two designers, and then the final three collections from Season 2, and I just don’t get it.

Daniel’s clothes were beautiful, and looked ready to be sold at Banana Republic. I realize that one of the prizes is an internship at BR, but does that mean you need to tailor your line to fit them? He kept talking about being so young and having a ‘fresh perspective,’ yet his clothing looked liked things I’ve already seen. I was rooting for Dan the whole way. I loved his improvised pink arch dress for ‘Social Scene.’ The orchids on his ‘Garden Party’ dress put him miles above anyone else.  His outfit for ‘Inspiration’ was, indeed, inspired. When I think of that challenge, and how his picture translated into fashion, I get goosebumps. So why was his inspiration for his Fashion Week line… wait, what was it?!? Military and Japanese? What? Sigh.

Santino… oh, Santino. I loved you. I loved your craziness, I loved your Timpersonations, and I loved your designs. Yes, they were often way too much, but it was so refreshing. So why? Why did you tone down your wonderfulness for your collection? Why was it so boring? Beautiful, yes, but it was like you were designing for some other label. And 40’s glamour? Sigh.

Chloe’s dresses were definitely the best up there, and she did deserve to win. As the judges said, she has a very good eye for a woman’s body. But Chloe didn’t really impress me, either. Having seen her work up to that point, and spending some time poking around her website, the clothes weren’t much of a stretch for Ms. Dao.

Man, writing this much has even bored me. At the same time, I totally can’t wait for Season 3.