Mace v.1.3.10

Today, at lunch in Fremont, at a nice little Afghan place, a man walked in who, from the back, looked exactly like my boyfriend Ryan from almost ten years ago. Ryan, who didn’t own jeans or believe in regular haircuts. Ryan, who taught me to do crossword puzzles in pen and how to drive. When he sat down, I got a good look at his face, and I’m 90% sure it wasn’t him. But who knows? Ten years can do a lot to a person. I got a hit on Friendster from a "Ryan" who lives in Longmont, CO. Which is doubly strange because that was the last known location of my very FIRST boyfriend, Ethan, who moved away and fell off the face of the earth, as far as I can tell. Until now*!

Seeing Ryanclone, or any other shadows of past loves, always leads me back to Google. I’m always curious about the lives of those I haven’t kept in touch with. It’s selfish, but I’m curious what impact I had on their lives. Then again, if it was a relatively positive impact, I’d probably still be on good terms with them and not have to sneak around on the internet to find out where they live, or if they’re married yet, or if I ever get mentioned on their blogs (I don’t).

I’ve had a project in the back of my head for a long time. In this, I write open letters to all of my boyfriends in order (haven’t figured out backwards or forwards chronologically). I want to thank each one of them for what they’ve given me. And probably apologize to a few that deserve it. I can kind of be a bitch.

* Thank you, internet! As I haven’t contacted him (yet), I’ll leave him his privacy.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 17th, 2006 at 5:11 pm and is filed under Bitching. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.