Mace v.1.3.10

A week later, and I’m finally getting around to talking about the company holiday party. It was definitely the best we’ve had in the time I’ve been with the company. As usual, I stayed until the DJ (who was the best we’ve ever had) turned on the lights and said it was time to go. Even then, we had a hard time filing out.

Monday morning I was talking to a coworker, who was explaining to me his anti-social anxieties. Now, this is something I understand, living with Jesse (that’s not a slight, merely fact). He said, quite kindly, that I had enough confidence for all three of us combined. I wanted to laugh and tell him my big secret, but instead I tossed it off with a non-committal statement like, “well, it’s certainly not 24/7.”

That’s the truth, people. I love parties, and people, and socializing, but sometimes it scares the hell out of me. All my smiles and poise come at a price.

Often, before social events, I work myself into such a lather that I make myself sick. I threw up the night before my high school reunion. I tried to blame it on drink, but it was pretty obvious that I hadn’t had enough to elicit that kind of reaction in my gut. I tried to play it off cool, but the feeling of unease didn’t go away until I had already been at the reunion twenty minutes.

Unfortunately, usually my social anxiety takes the form of an uneasy stomach. Which then leads me to the bathroom, and the aforementioned loose bowels. For the holiday party, for some reason it didn’t even hit until after dinner. My stomach was feeling bad most of the afternoon beforehand, but it didn’t kick into high gear until I had been on the dance floor for ten minutes or so. I’m SO very glad we got a room for the night and I had somewhere private to be ‘ill.’ What only made it worse were my memories from the year before*.

Luckily, after twenty minutes or so of some primo alone time**, I was feeling much better. In fact, I felt great. And totally sober. I downed a bunch of water, and headed back downstairs, where I didn’t have a single problem the rest of the evening. I was sad to see that many of the people I like at work had left while I was upstairs, but what was I going to do about that? Nothing. Also, I didn’t have any more alcohol that night, and still had a wonderful time.

Of course, my knees were killing me the next day. But the good way, the ‘ooh, I got a workout’ way. It reminded me how much I love to dance, and that I really need to do it more often.

Um… I think I forgot my point.

Oh, yeah, I’m a freak.

In other news:

-         Saw Aeon Flux. Felt so-so about it.

-         Attended the Flamenco Society’s Winter Juerga. It was the first one I’ve gone to in years without working at it. The second half was so very good – if you ever have a chance to see Carola Zertuche and Christina, you should do so.

-         Went to “Into The Woods” by Theaterworks. I’ve seen this musical at least five times. This was not the best, nor was it the worst. The cow stole the show.

* Last year, I contracted some kind of food poisoning before the holiday party. I felt fine until around then thirty, when we quickly departed for home. I made it about half a mile away from our house when I threw up. I was halfway out of the car and missed the car, my dress, my wrap, and my hair. I did, however, get a shoe-full. I felt better, but then proceeded to wake up every hour (practically on the hour) and vomit. Jesse was very sweet and stayed up all night to take care of me, replenishing my fluids and stroking my head until I fell back asleep. I washed the shoe, but never wore it again. I think I threw it away… tainted!

** I had two episodes in the bathroom – the first time I was trying to read Jesse’s copy of A Tale of Two Cities – I DO NOT recommend it when you are feeling unwell. I read the first two paragraphs at least four times, and nothing sunk in. The second time I was reading the autobiography of the owner of the Marriott chain – definitely lighter reading. I find that reading takes my mind off how awful I feel.